The past year brought many new wonderful and terrible things. All of which can be filed under the category life. Ivory's Addiction released from Amira Press. I gave birth to my son, Gabriel and sent my husband to war. But all of that this does not explain my absence to my responsibility of writing.
So, here's the ugly truth I've only recently begun to acknowledge myself. Ivory's Addiction released and I became a ninny. The fear of success or maybe failure? crept in and I did nothing to expel it.
I had succesfully written, completed and sold a manuscript. And then? Nothing. I stopped altogether. Now, I could blame it on my child's arrival or my stress at having a husband deployed to a theatre of war. But the real reason? A nagging question kept repeating in the back of my mind. Can you do it again?
Since that question first popped into my head, I let it fester. I let it infect me with trepidation and fear that destroyed my self-confidence. It affected my work and my self-esteem. It affected my ability to successfully promote and sell Ivory's Addiction. In short, I retreated from my dream. So, how do I get past this?
Well, for now, I'm writing again and editing Axel's Obsession, which has been done for quite some time. Because the fear of success didn't damage one thing: my passion for story telling. I still wrote, but I secreted it away and did nothing with it. Today, I'm taking this fear and protesting. Now, I can write this here to you all in truth, but my actions will be the fruit of my realization.
I'll learn to promote better, write stronger and be more self-confident in my work. The real test will come in time, but for now, I make no excuse anymore. I have none. I will do this. I will become successful in my dream and be better for it. I hope.
Let me leave you with a few websites you can find Ivory's Addiction at. If you have read it, I want to hear from you! Whether you liked it or hated it, I'm open to it all :) Hope you have a wonderful day.